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Are you listening to me?

8 November 2006

Why managers are turning to NLP for leadership skills

I was recently with a group of managers from a fast-moving international organisation. They were learning NLP skills to give them more of an influence in the business. During a conversation at coffee break one of the managers said she recently met their CEO, who asked her how things were in her part of the company. She told him what she was excited about, and also described some of her frustrations.

What she found so unique about this rare and impromptu meeting, was that the CEO only asked her questions, and made no judgement regarding her answers. In fact some days later she received an email from him saying he had ‘passed her frustrations on’ and as a result of this, positive changes were implemented. I asked her how she felt, and she replied ‘valued and recognised’.

I asked the manager what impact this meeting had on her, and she said that the predominant style of managing in the company was to tell people what you needed them to do. Managers are so busy they don’t have time to do anything other than pass on instructions. And because the culture causes people to believe ‘we can do anything’, they rarely question the tasks that are passed down to them. What she learned was the powerful effect of listening, questioning, and doing something to help people who were lower than you in the organisational hierarchy.

This may seem like a simple to implement idea, but many managers find the change from ‘giving instructions’ to ‘listening’ the toughest thing to do. After so many years of carrying in your head agendas of things that ‘need to be done’ you become chained to the habit of ‘needing quick action’. In order to truly listen, you must first train your mind to be patient and relieve yourself of the urgency to deliver your agenda or message.

Do you think that the CEO had no agenda? Of course he has agendas, but he has mastered more subtle and powerful ways of harnessing the effort of his people, through showing an interest, being curious, and doing things that make it easy for people to perform well. So the agendas are still there. But the haste to tell people what to do is replaced by a curiosity and desire to help people be their best.

From this manager’s brief encounter we can learn some simple lessons about how to influence people.

If you take an interest and listen to people, they will feel valued
If you involve people in deciding what and how, they will become engaged
If you support people they will give more
If you recognise people’s efforts they will feel valued
If you aspire to make a positive contribution people will follow your lead

How do you learn these skills?

Tell style managers often struggle to change the way they relate to employees and as a result end up highly stressed and suffer early burnout. There is a plethora of evidence to show that over time, a tell style of management causes physical and mental health problems. The way to avoid this is to slow down your thinking a little, focus on the purpose of work, and learn to be patient. Then you can begin to listen. The next stage is to become curious and to believe in your people.

This is where NLP comes in. It has powerful techniques for helping you to adopt values and beliefs that will change the way you relate to your people. Some managers spend months in mentoring and coaching sessions trying to develop an inspiring management style. Others enrol on business school programmes. It is well recognised that effective leaders know how to engage employees, and the skills required to do this are eagerly sought by ambitious future leaders. NLP offers a deep transformational process, with many tools and techniques to help you communicate in engaging and inspiring ways. It is highly practical, and immediately applicable.

If you are curious to learn more read NLP Business Masterclass or call the author at Quadrant1 International on +44 (0) 870 762 1300.

David Molden

Coffee Machine Coaching

17 October 2006

Coaching is recognised as a highly effective and targeted method of creating change in individuals for both personal and corporate results. The growth in the number of organisations providing coach training and qualifications has been explosive in recent years as organisations realise the impact of these tools over more conventional training courses.

Professional coaches are often externally sourced, and there is an increasing trend for companies to utilise their own employees as coaches. An increasing number of people with roles central to business operations are becoming coaches. People from finance, sales, service, logistics, personnel, training and other functions are taking on a coaching role. So where are they being trained and how are they gaining experience?

Not everyone has the time to attend a coaching programme and those that do need to build a reputation through experience within the organisation in order to be credible. We were speaking to a senior learning and development manager in a multi- national organisation recently and he was concerned at the number of coaches in his company who either return from coaching programmes or develop an interest in coaching and want to immediately be ‘given’ clients to practise on. Their excitement and desire to help is commendable but in the early days credibility is invariably an issue.

Large companies sometimes try to fit coaching into a highly structured programme, as if it were like organizing a formal training matrix. The complexity of modern business benefits from formalised structure and routine. Some companies attempt to apply this same kind of rigidity to the process of coaching and fail to get the best from their efforts. The best time to coach is when it is needed, not the last Tuesday of every month. The best coach is the person you respect and feel comfortable with, and this person could well be a member of your team, your manager, or someone in another part of the company you can call upon for support when needed.

So here is a solution –

First reframe the way you think about coaching. If you think of coaching as a ‘formal session between coach and coachee’ with a designated time limit, think again. Coaching can be a lifestyle. If you genuinely want to help people to move forward then develop a ‘coaching way of being’. You will be surprised at the opportunities which present themselves once you are focused on them. The ancient Hawaiians have a saying – ‘energy flows where attention goes’. Stay focused on the opportunity and the energy behind your coaching skills will gather momentum whatever the time or place.

Next build a reputation. Good project managers are invited to lead projects, people who demonstrate great leadership skills become leaders, people who are great speakers are invited to take part in corporate presentations, people who build natural rapport with customers are invited to deal with them on a one to one basis and so on. The secret to being a great coach therefore is to build yourself a reputation by demonstrating great coaching in the work place on a daily business. A reputation is key to attracting coaching clients. Over time you will be sought out for your abilities to help people overcome their limitations and make great strides forward.

Use your integrity. The opportunities to do so are endless – there are probably more opportunities to coach in the workplace than opportunities for anything else. However, if you seize them all then you will soon start to turn people off and you will find yourself going to lunch alone. A step by step measured approach will enable you to first identify appropriate opportunities, sense the appropriateness of what you want to do and deliver effectively without the person even realising they have been coached. This way you will develop a reputation as someone who listens and asks great questions and people will find themselves gravitating towards you when they are next perplexed about something.

In summary - develop the Art of Coffee Machine Coaching

Step 1 – Identify with the qualities of a coach –

good listener
genuinely interested in helping people to overcome issues and achieve outcomes
accept that people have all the personal resources they need to solve their own issues and they don’t need advice
able to ask the one targeted question which will create a shift in thinking (The NLP metamodel is a superb coaching tool. It is a series of questions which work on the everyday language patterns which people use – patterns which indicate the way a person is thinking. Sometime such patterns are positive and productive but at other times they can be negative and disempowering. A good coffee machine coach listens for such statements and picks one to work with. (See Brilliant NLP by David Molden and Pat Hutchinson for more on the metamodel questioning technique.)
able to walk away without people even knowing they have just been coached
the courtesy to ask if someone needs help with a particular issue before you offer it

Step 2 – Go about your daily work with your ears open and choose your moment well. Remember to build rapport and pace the person elegantly – you won’t gain brownie points for showing off your skills.

Here are some examples of coffee machine coaching (CMC) in action -

Example 1

Sue – I really don’t understand Dennis – every time I ask him about the layout for the new marketing brochure he goes off on one about how we need to make sure that all our materials are aligned.

CMC – I know what you mean but isn’t it great that he can think so strategically?

Without knowing it Sue’s mind has been focused on Dennis’s strengths and at an unconscious level she will take this on board when next communicating with him.

Example 2

Jen – Tom really isn’t interested in my project.

CMC – Oh what makes you say that?

Jen – I went in to update him on Wednesday morning and he really wasn’t listening. I could have been talking about flying to the moon for all he cared.

CMC – Any idea what was in his diary for Wednesday?

Jen – Yes, he was attending the board meeting where they are going to discuss …………. Oh no! No wonder he was preoccupied. I must ask him how it went.

It is very easy for people to become so wrapped up in their own agenda that they forget about other people’s. Jen has fallen into this trap and put a meaning on Tom’s behaviour which is completely untrue. Simple questioning allows the CMC to open Jen’s mind to other possibilities.

Have fun with coffee machine coaching – its called being human!

Pat Hutchinson

Why rapport skills are vital to the success of a new business venture

1st October 2006

The Sunday Times business section of 1st October has a fascinating story of how Mervyn Davies, CEO of Standard Chartered Bank, succeeded in buying Hsinchu bank in Taiwan for $1.2 billion.

The article tells of how Davies and his team got to work as soon as they caught wind that the bank was interested in selling. In what has been termed ‘wooing the Wu’, Davies began creating rapport with Wu and his family, such that they could be considered a possible buyer. Being an international businessman he was very aware of how the strength of family ties in Taiwan can make owners reluctant to sell to outside investors. He realised that any approach would need a good degree of rapport building.
For 3 months Davies lunched and dined with the Wu family, getting to know them, their values and how they run their business. He found common ground between Wu and himself in golf and Harley Davidson motorcycles. Such was the level of rapport created that Wu insisted a sale could only be finalised if Davies agreed to accompany Wu on a long-distance Harley ride! Of course, he agreed.

Davies believes that a successful acquisition is down to the pre-work of understanding the people running the business, not in due diligence, and he is a great example from which many can learn. At Quadrant 1 International we have worked with commercial organisations who are struggling to make their outsourcing business in India work because they did not do the pre-work of understanding the culture and working practices of the caste system. If you focus mainly on process you are likely to be tripped up by cultural nuances. We have even come across some senior management teams trying to change these cultural nuances – of course they can only fail. The culture of a country is the one thing you will not be able to change – it is much more powerful than any corporate culture. The key here is to understand the differences and find a way to work together. This may mean you have to modify your goals and processes to fit.

Whatever business relationship you want to develop, it always pays to understand the people you will be dealing with, and create rapport with them. When you make assumptions about the people, or perhaps don’t even give them a thought, and rely solely on processes and plans; there is a high chance of becoming stuck in a people-related problem. When people do not see ‘eye-to-eye’, or begin to avoid each other because working preferences are very different, then solutions take a great deal of work and time to bring about. It is always better to get the relationships working first, hence building the foundations upon which business can be conducted successfully.

Rapport is not just important for international ventures, but also for national change initiatives. We know of one national high street retailer who invested heavily in store re-design and branding, expecting sales and profits to increase. Unfortunately they failed to invest sufficiently in the pre-work of understanding and involving their staff who would be expected to bring in the higher sales. The result, after a great deal of hard work, was some smart looking stores, staffed by the same people who did not know how to increase sales. They were given training, but too little and too late. When you have a great rapport with your staff they will go much farther to help you attain your business goals. Training is not necessarily the way forward.

If you are about to launch into a new business venture with people who you know little about, how are you going to put a solid foundation in place? How can you successfully change your business using people who only know one way of working? We can facilitate meetings to ensure you pay attention to important aspects of the people you want to engage with. We can help to facilitate your senior executives and suggest ways to engage your people and have them looking ahead positively to the changes you want to make. Orange Circle Thinking (OCT) is just one of the methods we have used to facilitate this.

We can help you to build foundations with relationships that will withstand business turbulence and make the most of challenges in your new venture.

David Molden

Is stress getting to you?

18th September 2006

As an engineer my brother knows all about stress. He used to test metal components for the level of physical stress at which they would fracture, shatter or break in half. Some metals can take more stress than others, but they all have a point at which they will be overcome by the pressure being exerted. People are pretty much the same, except that stress begins as mental pressure before it becomes physical. There is a level of stress at which some part of you will snap.
At the age of 32 I joined the computer revolution when I took a job with an aggressive, fast growing computer retailer. I was a service manager. At the time the average age of employees was 24, and they would work hard and play hard. I watched as they worked late, feasted on fast foods and drank as competitively as they worked. I tried to explain how their lifestyle would lead to problems later in their life, but they didn’t want to listen to me. At 32 what did I know about being young, free and spending my hard earned and very reasonable salary on having a good time?

Well prophet I am not, but I feel quite sad when I look back now and think about the people who did snap. Heart attacks at 48, cancer and diabetes at 45, depression and suicide at 36. Quite a number have fallen. There are others who haven’t snapped but started creaking and limping under the weight of their huge bellies and lack of exercise. Then there are the broken relationships, divorces and family alienation. And these are just the people I have kept in touch with or met by chance. I wonder how many more have suffered? Why didn’t they take more care of themselves when they were younger?

A recent survey, commissioned by Legal and General, questioned more than 5,000 men and women on their biggest health worries over the past three months.

48% cited lack of exercise
42% cited lack of sleep
34% cited general fatigue
27% cited stress caused by daily routine
15% cited passive smoking as a major concern
12% cited drinking as a major concern
6% said they worried about not knowing what is a healthy diet

Chris Rolland, director of healthcare at Legal and General said: "It is becoming clear that people are far more worried about the way we live our lives, the lack of sleep and stress than smoking and drinking. There are few things more important in life than our health; so it is vital that people look at the causes of a poor lifestyle to ensure their health is not compromised and hopefully prevent burn-out."

Angela Mawle, chief executive of the UK Public Health Association said: "This research shows that the 24/7 society is getting to us. Blackberries and mobile phones mean that we are always on call. It is hard to slow down and people struggle to find the time to relax. This has obvious health implications."

Earlier this year researchers warned that blackberry email devices can be as damaging to mental health as taking drugs. The gadget - nicknamed the 'crackberry' because it is so addictive - allows workers to stay in touch with colleagues whenever they are out of the office. But researchers from the Rutgers University Business School in New Jersey said this risked putting too much stress on staff who need to escape the pressure of working life, especially when at home. The gadgets, they claim, are harmful in extreme cases and heavy users often neglect their friends and family in favour of using them.

Stress-related illness has become the number one cause of absenteeism in the workplace in Britain and is believed to cost £3.7billion a year in lost productivity healthcare costs. The number of employees citing work-related anxiety and depression has doubled in a decade to more than a million.

So how do you rate your stress levels? You are either in control of the potential stressors at work or you are out of control. Some of our clients come to us with work related problems which they do not always relate to stress, for example:

I have no direction or aspiration
I need to influence my CEO
I am finding it harder to motivate myself
I’m not happy with what I have achieved so far – I know I can achieve more but I’m frustrated with myself
I can’t seem to get my message across

By the time a client decides to call us you can bet he or she has been living with the problem for some time, and they have tried all kinds of things to solve it. A reliable sign that stress is at work can be found where you have a problem and no matter what you do you get stuck with it. The problem seems to grow in weight and size and you get frustrated. This leads to anxiety or worry and the stress intensifies. The problem, which started as a mental or emotional issue is now a physical one. Next come the headaches, migraines, muscular aches and pains, teeth grinding, shallow breathing, insomnia and drop in energy levels.

But you can find relief from stress and regain control fairly quickly. You can learn how to relax your body, and then your mind will follow. You can also learn to relax your mind and take control of your work situations. Because we know how debilitating stress can be we always help our clients to relax. This one thing often brings significant benefits and makes it easier for the client to quickly become confident in using the NLP tools we give them. It is a real delight to see course participants on day 2 looking like they have had a huge weight lifted from their minds. Once the stress is gone they tend to solve their work problems very quickly. Read client testimonials here

Take a stress test now – read the excerpt from our popular eBook then download and complete the eBook questionnaire. Read the tips section and find out how to conquer stress for good.

David Molden Quadrant 1 International.

It’s getting tougher at the top!

12th September 2006

If you’re a CEO or CFO of a publicly quoted company you probably know what pressure is. A recent study by Booz Allen Hamilton at 2500 largest publicly quoted companies has found that in the period between 1995-2004 CEO dismissals increased by 300%, underperformance being the primary reason. Being a CEO is an increasingly risky business.

The CFO executive board’s recent analysis of CFO careers reveals that only 5% are promoted to CEO or Chairman at their own companies, and another 5% are promoted to these roles at a new company. The remaining 90% retire, are fired, reassigned to another role, or become CFO in another company. The research entitled Root Causes of CFO Success and Failure analyzes the difference between “average” and “exceptional” CFOs. One clear distinction of the “exceptionals” is their greater level of intimacy with business operations. Because of this they are more likely to have changed their CEO’s mind on a major business issue. The CFO executive board’s investigation also focused on other CFO “headaches”, such as effective time allocation, delegation, relationship with the CEO and career paths.

I am certain that neither CEOs or CFOs are in their job for an easy ride, but the level of pressure and stress is increasing as pressure from shareholders is causing top executive teams to seek short-term performance gains. When you look at the research you find that CEO’s are not fired because of their lack of intelligence or business acumen. It’s all about performance and results, which comes down to the style of leadership, and the ability to harness the efforts of employees and direct them into activities that deliver great results.

Jack Welch did nothing but interview people for the first 6 months at GE, an activity which built the foundations for his long-term success. In their million selling book The Leadership Challenge, Kouzes and Posner explore how to turn challenging opportunities into remarkable successes by mobilising others to want to do extraordinary things. This is achieved by transforming values into actions, visions into realities, obstacles into innovations, separateness into solidarity, and risks into rewards.

The challenge for the CEO and the executive team is to create this leadership landscape whilst resisting the urge to be engrossed in short-term wins which serve mainly to boost CEO popularity with the shareholders. On the Quadrant 1 Personal Success Programme (PSP) the most frequently expressed concern from participating CEOs and executive teams is developing effective relationships with peers and board members, and having a positive influence with them. This is where the skills and techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) are being used with excellent results. On a recent programme the CFO of an international HR Consultancy firm requested all her executive team attend PSP because they need to learn to work together and have a positive impact with each other.

Having worked with quite a number of CEO’s and top executive teams in different organisations we have seen how those that tend to be struggling with their position seem to be more interested in their own popularity and career than the health of the organisation. Hence they spend time driving the business resulting in people working harder, but not much time engaging and involving the hearts and minds of their people. In contrast, the most respected and successful CEOs are driven by their aspirations for the business, not their career, and utilise the creativity and energy of their team to deliver outstanding results.

When you take time out to create an awareness of the way you think and the effect you have on others, and on your own effectiveness, it’s surprising how things can change. Crucial skills such as decision-making, time management, focus, concentration, listening and engaging others can be developed rapidly with the leading edge techniques used on PSP.

Whilst the research by Booze Allen Hamilton was conducted at the world’s largest corporates, we would be interested in hearing from CEO’s, CFO’s and members of top executive teams from all sizes and types of organisation in both private and public sectors. What is your experience? Do you feel under pressure from shareholders and other stakeholders to deliver short-term results? Is your CEO putting you under pressure for short-term results when you know you need to develop longer-term solutions? How are you dealing with this? We invite your comments.

David Molden, Quadrant 1 International.

Have you had your wake-up call?

12th September 2006

Today I chatted to a man in the steam room at my gymn. He was probably in his mid 50’s and making a supreme effort to get fit. He told me that he had moved house a year ago and changed his life style. He had lost a good deal of weight, changed his diet and taken up exercising in the gymn. I couldn’t resist asking him what the trigger for this change in lifestyle had been.
test I wasn’t surprised when the answer was immediate and clearly remembered. He told me that last Christmas he had contracted a virus which lead to a severe chest infection and he had been frightened by the length of time it had taken him to recover. All credit to him that he had taken steps to rectify the situation and as he sat in the steam room he appeared physically very fit.

However, I wasn’t so sure about the level of fitness of his mental state. OK his wake up call had spurred him into some physical action but the conversation continued with an outpouring of everything that was wrong with his life, the government, society and anything else he could think of. He blamed his business for the stress he had put himself under, the government for not providing the ‘right type’ of employees for him and the Chancellor of the Exchequer for taking all his money in taxes. He ended the conversation with ‘I don’t know – the youth of today!’ I was tempted to ask him whether he had ever been young but I refrained.

So often we read of and indeed meet people who have achieved success in their lives despite the appalling circumstances of their youth, or the terrible accident they had which left them incapacitated or the life threatening illness they managed to defy. People like Milton Erickson, William Tan and Ronan Tynan have all betrayed the laws of possibility in the achievement stakes – the one thing they all had in common was the ability to ‘think’ their way to success.

What happens for those people who never have a wake up call? What happens to those who have a wake up call but only do half the job? Will my friend in the steam room realise that a healthy mind is as important as a healthy body?

Why wait for a wake up call anyway? Surely success is something everyone is capable of - whether its in relationships, career and/or health – it just takes some thought.

Pat Hutchinson – Quadrant 1 International

Time to trade old style for new?

3 November 2006

Over the past 15 years new ways of helping people to succeed have emerged. The science of personal effectiveness has moved on leaps and bounds. The personal development market has bloomed and is undergoing unprecedented change.

New ways are here. Its time to trade old for new.

The following statements have been extracted from a recent press release. They summarise the difference between the old and new ways of developing people.

Old style gives you things to think about

New style gives you a different way of thinking

Old style gives you ideas that apply to one context only

New style gives you fast change techniques for dealing with many things

Old style ‘sheep-dip’ programmes create as many sceptics as converts and individuals rarely open up amongst their peers

Positive attitudes and behaviours become infectious when you create the desire for personal growth

Much deeper learning is achieved when an individual attends a learning programme from choice, and feels free to explore their personal barriers

We have proved this time again with the Personal Success Programme - an example of new ways in action.

Find out more by speaking to some of our many clients who have traded old for new.

Or call us to learn more.

David Molden.

The Levellers

25 November 2006

Virginia Satir was a highly effective family therapist whose work can be directly related to behaviour in the workplace. By using a range of highly graphic descriptions of typical behaviour she was able to give people a way of recognising the cause of conflict. You will probably be able to draw comparisons between the following descriptions of what is generally referred to as Satir Categories and the behaviour of people in the workplace, and maybe even your own.

Blamer

When a person is blaming they are refusing to accept responsibility for their own performance. They are seeking to lay the cause of a situation in circumstances, or in other people, and in doing so they mentally and emotionally detach themselves from the issue at hand. To point the finger of blame is to disempower yourself of the means by which you could get involved and make a difference, i.e. if it's not my fault then I don't need to feel obliged to do anything about it. Blaming usually occurs when a person is insecure about themselves in some way, or has low self-esteem. Blaming is usually charged with anger which starts by being directed inwardly. Blaming directs anger outward to other people so that you don't feel so bad - but there are still unresolved bad feelings which cause the blaming to continue.

Blaming serves only to create conflict, to disempower and to reduce the bad feeling created by being angry with yourself.

Distracter

When a person is distracting they are really saying 'look at me'. It is a behaviour that attempts to draw other people's attention because they have lacked it in the past. The feeling is of never having been fully recognised, loved or accepted by friends and/or family. There are many ways a person will distract, including humour, changing the subject, stopping listening, picking fluff off a jumper, making profound statements, throwing objects, tapping pencils etc. What makes this type of behaviour a distraction is that they are done inappropriately - when it causes other people to change their focus.

Distracting serves to create conflict, to attract attention and create feelings of being needed.

Computer

When a person is being a computer they are dissociating emotionally from what is happening. You will notice computer-like behaviour by the precision in the body language, and dialogue. There is a stillness to the body where movement is minimal. There is no lounging or shifting around, and conversation is highly practical and rational. The stillness allows emotional detachment. This person may find it difficult dealing with emotions due to their sterile upbringing. You might say they have a lack of emotional intelligence and feel awkward dealing with emotions of any kind.

Computer-like behaviour serves to keep the person emotionally detached which may cause others to judge them as a cold and unfeeling person.

Placater

To placate is to take the blame for whatever goes wrong, i.e. it must be my fault, yet again. It is the opposite of the blamer although the emotion attached to it is not so much anger as sadness. The cause is much the same as blamer, low self-esteem. A person who is placating is used to putting their foot in it, being the awkward one in a group, or convincing themselves they are never as good as other people. By accepting the blame they don't feel the need to prove themselves as adequate in any way, i.e. I own up to being clumsy or incompetent. So they can carry on without having to achieve anything because if they tried to succeed at something they might fail and this would bring even worse feelings.

Placating serves to avoid the dissapointment of a future failure as this would be more hurtful than all the failures that have gone before.

Leveller

Being a leveller is being someone who can bring calm and order to situations where people are expressing the 4 behaviours described above. The leveller has emotional balance and can relate to all kinds of people. The leveller is able to take away the negative charge from conflict situations and is a facilitator of positive actions and feelings.

A leveller serves to keep the peace and harmonize the efforts of others through flexibility of communication and being able to relate to everyone in any situation.

Are there enough people in your organisation acting as levellers?

The next time you attend a meeting at work watch for these categories of behaviour. Where you have a dysfunctional workgroup or a meeting process which isn't valued by attendees you are most certainly going to notice some of these behaviours. The problem is that when a person adopts either a blamer, distracter, computer or placater attitude they then defend it and it can be difficult to move them. This is where levellers are so vital to the health and well-being of organisations.

The skills of a leveller can be found with change agents and effective leaders, and in facilitators. The more levellers you have the more productive and healthy your organisation will be. Levellers know how people work, and how they react and respond to one another. They are able to bring a sense of order and balance where there is chaos and imbalance. As they observe people they strive to be catalysts of positive change and a force for good.

Some people have a natural levelling ability, others can learn the skills of the leveller. Once you become a leveller you never see the world in the same way again. All of a sudden problems which seemed impossible are resolved simply. People who were stubborn become dynamic and ineffective teams begin to harness their strengths and work towards common goals. Discussions become outcome focussed and work is only created when there is a valuable purpose behind it. When people are acting from a positive intention to do good, as opposed to just getting work done, then the quality of the output goes up. Levellers know how important it is to keep realigning their efforts with purposeful outcomes.

So, level with me ..... which of the Satir Categories do you display? Do you have enough levellers in your organisation?

For further information on the work of Virginia Satir read 'New Peoplemaking' or ... 'Family Therapy and Beyond'.

For the Satir network visit http://www.avanta.net/

David Molden

Confidence – how to have more!

30 November 2006

If you had a big bag of Confidence what would you do with it?

Go for a promotion?
Be more influential with key people?
Lead yourself and others in a meaningful direction, focussed on results?
Start a new business venture?

Many people think that confidence is situation related. For example, you may be confident in a sales scenario, but lack confidence when presenting to directors. But this is not the case.
Most times when you feel confident it’s because the situation is familiar to you and you have experienced some degree of success. When you lack confidence there is usually some kind of inner reasoning going on that concludes with a feeling of uncertainty. It is this uncertainty that makes you lose confidence – you actually talk yourself into losing confidence!

You can be as confident as you want to be – in any situation using the following techniques:

Stop eroding your confidence with negative self-talk. Turn your self-talk into positive affirmations about your capability to learn and adapt.
Add some powerful self-beliefs to boost the way you feel. Some of these beliefs will be about your ability to respond positively to whatever happens. Base these beliefs on your performance in other contexts, i.e. when you have felt really confident.
Visualise what you want to happen and see the outcome you want in your mind’s eye. Keep your focus on what you want.
Breathe slowly and deeply whilst relaxing your entire body (especially the jaw and shoulders).
Get into a state of mind that will be conducive to you succeeding at this task.

Everyone has a certain degree of confidence – but not everyone realises that they can easily boost their confidence levels, in any context using some powerful techniques like those listed above. Confidence isn’t necessarily a strong emotion, it is more a feeling of being relaxed and focussed with no distractions from your self-talk or feelings of insecurity.

Can you train to be confident?

Every now and then we are asked to run confidence building programmes in organisations. In most cases the consultation with the client proceeds as follows:

What do you want to achieve through a confidence building programme?

We are looking for a clear link connecting confidence with business results

And what do you want people to be able to do as a result of their increased confidence?

We are looking for specific examples where increased confidence will bring positive results.

What do you think the barriers are to gaining confidence?

This will be different for every individual, so any programme needs to have the flexibility to work with a range of limitations.

How open does a person need to be in order to make changes at a deep level?

A person needs to be able to discuss openly the situations where they have not been feeling confident.

Which type of programme do you think will encourage more openness – an in-house course or an open programme where people do not know each other and do not work together?

There is only one answer to this final question, and it is the reason why so many more professional people are turning to motivational open programmes for their personal development. The in-company menu of training courses has severe limitations in this area – great for procedural training, not so effective at personal development.

When it comes to removing the barriers to increased confidence and motivation you want to provide a learning environment where people feel safe to get close to feelings of low confidence that they have been avoiding. When an individual is sitting in a class among peers he or she is unlikely to get close enough to their feelings of inadequacy, as to do so would expose their weaknesses to others they are competing with.

The growing trend towards open programmes is being driven by the desire for real personal development, not just stuff that scratches the surface. We have the know-how these days to help people make enormous shifts in their motivation, confidence and thinking strategies, but ideas about the role of corporate training needs to change so that employees, and therefore the business, can reap the benefits.

The Personal Success Programme is a unique experience designed with you in mind. It is helping all kinds of professional people raise their confidence and the bar of their achievement. In a highly confidential setting, and working with small groups of up to 12 you will gain an awareness of the personal barriers in your way, and learn techniques for breaking through these limitations and creating powerful states of mind and self-confidence for any situation. An increasing number of our corporate clients are offering places to their employees and getting a major return on their investment.

Whether you want to lead your team to better performance, influence the board, be a great communicator, pitch to client directors, facilitate change, put your ideas into action, or motivate and energise yourself, the Personal Success Programme has the practical tools and techniques to get you to where you want to be. If you want to know more we have many satisfied clients who are happy to tell you about their experience on the programme, and how it has benefited their employees.

We know how people can really achieve their full potential – read the many client testimonials on our website, or ask people who have attended our courses. You can be certain they will impress you.

David Molden

Sheep dip anyone?

2nd January 2007

There is a belief that attitudes and skills can be developed overnight almost like upgrading the operating system on a computer. What often happens is that the speed at which managers expect to see change in processes and systems is also applied to people. Attempts to get employees to think and behave differently by sheep-dipping often have the opposite effect. This is because people are unlike processes and systems.

Some create and enjoy change, others avoid and resist it.
Some like to make their own decisions, others are happy to follow the herd.
Some are happy sticking to a procedure whilst others get bored doing the same thing twice.
Some want to have a part in creating the future whilst others only see problems to avoid.
Some like to consider until all angles are covered whilst others just want to get on with it.

These are just some of the differences that cause conventional sheep-dip type courses to be mainly ineffective. If you teach everyone the same things in the same way only some of them will get it. Sheep-dipping tends to alienate as many people as it may motivate. You only get through to some of the people.

What people need in order to change

The late David McLelland of Harvard Business School emphasised how people need only 3 conditions met in order to change their thinking and behaviour. These 3 conditions are:

To know how to change
To have the opportunity to change
To have the desire to change

So what we need are more trainers, coaches and managers who are able to connect with individuals such that they create their own desire. Then the individual needs to know he or she has an opportunity to utilise what is being learned. Then the know-how is a matter of engaging each individual in such a unique way that they acquire new skills easily.

Current models of training

Some people will be drawn to courses that are designed to an academic and intellectual model, where the lecturers are probably featured with a long line of accreditations after their name. Some personal development may take place during the course, but the emphasis will be on knowledge and intellectual rigour. Assimilation of learning is left to the individual to manage after the event.

You may find yourself drawn to the big name guru seminars which are more akin to entertainment than personal development - it is sometimes a job to tell one from the other. It feels great to tell other people that you have seen so-and-so and you did some highly impressive or even dangerous task. Very memorable, but personal benefit is often short-lived. These seminars tend to be high on inspiration and initial motivation, but low on lasting benefit.

You could choose courses that others have recommended. If it sounds ok then it probably is. The smart choice ... as long as you have asked enough questions to get to the detail, and the person doing the recommending has clearly gained positively from the experience. Make sure you can see the change in attitude and behaviour, and not just accept what a person says as gospel.

Some have little choice other than what the HR team has selected for them. This approach works when individual needs are addressed rather than group needs. You may have no choice at all, but if you do, ask the supplier to put you in touch with previous customers and find out how it went for them. If you really have no choice, then arrive at the course in a positive learning state - you can learn from every experience.

When you attend a course there is usually a topic, a schedule for learning and some may also offer exercises to practise skills, and maybe case examples. If your needs fit the topic and schedule than you are likely to get some value out of it.

Coaching

Coaching is a growing profession, and organisations are taking up coaching as a method of developing people - instead of the more traditional 'go on a course' approach. Whilst courses have their place in personal development, choosing one to meet your needs can be daunting because of the wide variety, and because most people do not know how to choose from what is available.

Coaching is becoming a preferred alternative to training because the topic and schedule don't determine what you will learn. It is a personal experience which will help you with whatever you say is the aim. But the limitation with coaching is that in any 1:1 encounter there are only ever the perspectives and skills of 2 people. As a coach you don't get to stand back and watch your client in action, you are always part of the process.

Group coaching

Group coaching and facilitation is gaining popularity as a further alternative to conventional training. The benefits over 1:1 coaching are that as a participant you have the perspectives of a group of people whom you get to know extremely well - it is common for very strong friendships to form during a small group coaching event. Group support for individual learning is very high. It also allows the trainers/coaches to observe your behaviour over a number of days and offer you more effective interventions than might be possible in a 1:1 session.

Group coaching also hits David McLelland's 3 conditions for change. It offers the individual new insights and skills (know-how), plenty of practice (opportunity) and desire tends to grow by the hour as new awareness develops and new possibilities emerge. The Real Success Programme is a small group coaching programme designed to meet these criteria.

The next time you invest in your personal development - take a look around and ask some questions before accepting something that sounds formal, impressive or entertaining. It's your time - spend it wisely.

David Molden.

Click here to read more interesting articles and blogs

Group Coaching has the edge

3rd January 2007

To an outside observer the REALSUCCESS Programme may look like a communication skills or motivational training course - but look closely and you will see that it is very, very, different. Yes, the participants learn the most advanced influencing skills available today, and they leave highly motivated, but the similarities stop there.
The first noticable difference is that we (the trainers and facilitators) are experienced executive coaches with both business and training backgrounds. Then you might see how the activities are more like open coaching sessions using advanced change techniques. The debriefs give you a very interesting view of the changes people are making as they progress through the programme.

When you arrive on the Real Success programme you enter an arena of discovery, where you learn to use a range of self-awareness tools and techniques to explore the inner workings of your thoughts and feelings. Your heightened awareness will reveal the process behind the results you have been getting. We do not offer a 'model of success' - because everyone is so very different; it is ridiculous to think that there is only one correct model.

So, what we do provide is a group coaching framework to support and help you explore what works for you. We will help you to modify your thinking patterns and create empowering states of mind to fully integrate new patterns and structures into your thinking. This could include your decision-making process; influencing ability; self-motivation; confidence; clarity of thought; focus and determination. These changes take place during the programme, and the after effects continue long after completion.

The group coaching format has been refined over a number of years. The result is a process of learning which continues to receive rave reviews from our graduates.

When it comes to investing in yourself, personal development is becoming the preferred option for business professionals who are looking for something to give them the edge, so the search for more effective solutions continues. From the feedback we receive, we believe REALSUCCESS is at the forefront of this emerging trend and the demand for places from our corporate clients has grown more than 100% in 2006.

Our clients are discovering the 'snowball effect' REALSUCCESS is having on motivation, skills and communication within their organisations. In comparison to conventional 'sheep-dip' approaches to training, REALSUCCESS creates a pull as opposed to a push. When employees return to the workplace is is very noticable that they are much more competent, confident and motivated, and this creates the desire for others to have the same experience.

If you are considering attending Real Success programme we invite you to speak with one or more of our graduates, or our client sponsors, who are always willing to share their experience. Or call us to discuss the options for creating a 'snowball' effect in your business.

David Molden

Click here to read more interesting articles and blogs

Is it time to activate your banana?

8th January 2007

A current BBC news video tells of civil service bosses in Tyneside who have introduced a 'clean desk' policy. The purpose behind it is to improve service to the public, but it has infuriated unions and demotivated staff. One employee was asked if the banana on his desk was active or inactive.

When you treat employees like children don't be surprised when they begin to behave like children. Employees learn what they live.
The Policy
Employees have been ordered to put tape around certain permanent items on their desks like keyboard, mouse and telephone. Anything without a taped frame must be put away unless it is actually 'active'. In this way they believe employees will not be distracted by inactive items on their desk and therefore will be able to focus on current active work. The consultant in the video considers this to be only an 'ever so slight extreme'; maybe she is being kind. It is far worse than this. It is symbolic of the relationship between employees and bosses, and damages whatever good relations there might be.

It is clear that whoever is behind this policy knows nothing about distraction and focus. The result of this ignorance, as is often the case, is to alienate employees. The implication is that employees are unable to resist distraction, and so must be forced into doing so by stupid and childish orders. I imagine that many employees on the receiving end feel they are being treated like children.

So how do you prevent distraction?
When you are distracted from your work it is more likely that the work itself is not engaging, and so the unconscious mind looks for something more interesting to do. This will happen regardless of the clutter on your desk. In order to focus there must be some intrinsic motivational value in the work you are doing. This is nothing new - any management student who has studied Maslow and Hertzberg will understand this. What is ridiculous though is the idea that a tidy desk will lead to better customer service.

In reality, people who are obsessed with tidying desks are usually the ones who have disorganised minds. They are the forgetful ones, and because they don't know how to better organise their minds they waste time organising things. In my experience the people with the most organised minds have the untidiest desks - yet they know exactly where things are when they need them.

So what's the answer?
We have spent many years helping people to reorganise their thinking. The tools to do this are freely available today on personal development programmes such as the Personal Success Programme. We use a particularly effective technique we call 'Orange Circle Thinking'. If you are losing focus and being easily distracted you need to look at the relationship you have with your work. If you are not enjoying your work, or if you feel that your effort is not making a difference to the bigger picture, then no amount of tidying is going to help. You have to look at the value in work, and the responsibility people have to make decisions. When these factors are low then distractions will be welcomed.

Where can you learn to focus and resist distraction?
You can learn this on any of our open programmes, or engage a coach to help you. But there is also another factor to take into account. Some work is designed without workers in mind. When you are in the business of creating work which has no consideration for the human being who will be doing it, then you are asking for trouble. To quote Anita Roddick "we should be fitting organisations to people, not people to organisations". So business leaders need to understand more about the relationship between employees and the work they do so that work can be made interesting and engaging. People are capable of great things, but if you treat them like children they will behave like children.

Click here to watch the BBC video

David Molden

Purpose and Passion in Leadership

10 February 2007

I was intrigued to learn that European Union leaders, gathering in Brussels to decide on carbon emission reductions, arrived in big gas guzzling Mercedes cars. Surely, I thought, anyone whose purpose is to reduce emissions would want to be a role model and behave as they would like others to behave? Wouldn’t a Toyota Prius, the most popular energy friendly car available today, be giving a clearer message about the urgency to create change? Incongruent behaviour like this suggests a lack of real purpose, and certainly little passion for taking positive action to reduce carbon emissions.
This question takes me back to a workshop we ran recently for a group of 50 graduates in a large energy company. We asked if they had an aspiration. Some had no idea what they wanted to do, some wanted to be a director or CEO of a business, and others wanted to pursue specific aims like flying an airplane, or helping third-world countries. We then asked those who wanted to be a CEO why they wanted this, and what they would be doing as a CEO. Most did not have a clear answer.

These results fascinated me. Some of the graduates had an aspiration to make a contribution and this was more motivating to them than who they would be. The ‘want to be a CEO’ group had no idea about the contribution they wanted to make, and were focussing purely on being in a job where they would be recognised as someone of power and importance.

I generally work with people who are well into their careers. I meet people who are living their aspiration and others who are just doing a job in return for pay and benefits. Through my interactions and work with them I have discerned two things that have significant consequences on leadership.

Where the leader’s purpose is focussed outward on personal and team contribution, there is strong leadership and a positive buzz in the air. People draw inspiration from the leader’s passion and will be inspired to do a great job.

Where purpose is turned inward, and is more about personal status and recognition, there is weak leadership and a lack of a positive buzz. People are less likely to do a great job because it probably wouldn’t be recognised if they did.

How does inward purpose develop?

It often happens that a person may accept a job which is no more than a means to an end, i.e. the need for money to pay the rent. They may remain in the same job for reasons of personal/family security. Once security ceases to be such a pressing need life can get a little dull if there is nothing in the job to get excited about, or look forward to. Maybe a certain job is chosen purely for career prospects alone – for the status and recognition. The job will either bring power and authority, or simply look good on the cv.

There are problematic consequences to both these scenarios, as inward purpose is experienced by others as a lack of leadership. I once met a managing director who wanted his employees to be more passionate about their work. He said that people needed to work harder and increase productivity, but there was a distinct lack of passion from the MD, and when challenged about this said, ‘how can you get passionate about these products?’ He was purely focussed on numbers, but numbers only motivate shareholders and high performing sales execs. Compare this with the CEO of a different company in IT development who recently told me, ‘our company is special because of our people, their skills, and their achievements. Their ability to create solutions to difficult challenges is driving our growth and innovation.’ Clearly there is outward purpose (challenges) and passion (skills and achievements).

There is a danger also that talent groups being honed for top positions become focussed more on their status and position than their contribution. When people are selected and given special names like a ‘talent group’ it can become the first stage to an inflated ego unless the focus is on outward purpose.

A lack of outward purpose is often a barrier to be overcome when coaching leaders. Where there is no outward purpose there is no passion. No passion, no positive energy. No positive energy, no employee engagement. The result is low morale and a demotivated team.

Most people have some focus on their well-being and sense of personal achievement. I believe the overriding question is about balance - are the scales of purpose tipped more outward or inward?

So how are our politicians balanced on purpose? Where is the passion in politics? How about the leaders in your organisation? Can you recognise the personal balance of each one? If you have inwardly focussed leaders do you know how to help them to change? In which direction is your purpose going, inward or outward?

As a way of concluding this article I encourage you to watch a short video of a boy called Aaron Fotheringham being driven by an outward purpose and a passion. Make sure you watch it to the very end and try not to feel too inspired!

David Molden.

The Brilliance of NLP

12 February 2007

We are often asked ‘what has NLP done for you?’ And perhaps more intriguingly, ‘what does NLP enable you to do?’ These are not questions to which answers trip off the tongue easily. Discussing these questions in the context of our recent book Brilliant NLP we came to the conclusion that answering the first one in particular will depend at which stage of life the question is posed.
‘Has done’ would rather suggest that NLP has finished its work. NLP can be described as a life navigation tool without which life and work can be a journey with vague direction and focus; so many people these days feel unfulfilled at work, and in their personal life. It's a sense of having arrived in a place as a result of joining a mystery tour, rather than having bought a ticket for a specific destination.

Through NLP you can begin to see things differently, be much more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. You can discover what really makes you tick, and begin to make crystal clear decisions about what you want from work and life, and work out how to get there.

We can take responsibility for our results and make changes to improve the quality of our lives. It's like taking firm hold of the driving wheel used to steer our work and personal life in the direction we decide to go using a real sense of vision and determination. As we look around us at our friends and acquaintances we realise that very few of them are completely happy with themselves, and they are certainly not achieving anywhere near their true potential.

NLP has been brilliant for us in so many ways. Once you have it under your belt you too can use it to generate brilliant results in many aspects of your work and your personal life including relationships, motivating people and teams, decision making, creative thinking, confidence, selling, influencing, public speaking and many, many more. NLP gives you a growing array of transferable life skills effective at work and in your personal life.

Pat Hutchinson and David Molden

Bad managers turn off young talent

15th February 2007

A survey conducted by the Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM), and reported in the Sunday Times, reveals that 400,000 British workers between 18 and 24 feel their manager is holding them back.
Staggeringly only 14% of these young people felt they have a good relationship with their managers. Not surprisingly 28% of those who felt they had been managed badly didn’t want to become a manager themselves. A quarter of those surveyed said they would leave an organisation where they had been poorly managed. Paradoxically 61% said they expected to learn from their manager.

At the top of the list (86%) of desirable managerial attributes was ‘approachability’ followed closely by ‘letting staff get on with the job’ (66%).

So how come so many young people are not having their expectations met but continue to rely on their immediate superiors for guidance and learning? What does it take to be approachable? In essence these top two criteria are saying ‘Let me ask you for guidance and then let me get on and prove to you and me that I can do it’. But in order to even recognie this question, a manager must be approachable.

Approachability

To be approachable a manager will -

Be interested in the development of his team both as team and as individuals
Be confident in his own ability to coach effectively
Recognise the strengths of the individual members of his team
Trust in the ability of his team and allow space for creativity and practice

Its not rocket science so why do so many managers fall short?

Letting staff get on with the job

In our work with organisations we often find managers who are aware of the need to coach, train and let go but are being pressurised from above to ‘get the job done quickly’. This creates a conflict of values for all concerned and not surprisingly, stress, demotivation and even sickness follow. Disillusioned young managers leave the organisation which finds itself back at square 1 in the recruitment and training stakes with all the associated costs this brings.

We also work with organisations who attempt to solve the problem by selecting people for fast track management programmes. These programmes work well for the selected employees keeping them motivated and on track but what of the rest of the employees and what of the customers? Sometimes ‘fast track’ employees become so wrapped up in their own career paths that the customer gets forgotten – financial institutions are particularly good at this. We hear HR people refer to their ‘talent team’ – people who again have been selected for grooming and fast promotion. By definition does this mean the rest of the workforce is the ‘untalented team’?

A delegate on one of our recent personal success programmes had been feeling uncomfortable and frustrated for some time because he felt his manager was micro managing him. The manager had failed to notice the growing competence of our delegate and continued to supervise as if he were still a trainee. Our delegate felt that his manager didn’t trust him, the relationship became strained and he was about to leave his job. Managers so often forget the journey they took themselves to become a manager – learning, practicing, making mistakes and trying again. We coached our delegate to tell his manager how he was feeling and to let him know what his expectations of him were.

Confidence and Courage

Both of the above attributes require a healthy dose of both confidence and courage - confidence to know that young people can become confident, creative contributors and courage to let it happen.

Young people will stick around when they know their manager has their interests at heart, understands their needs and is prepared to help. As I say, its not rocket science.

Pat Hutchinson

Co-author of Brilliant NLP

Increase your awareness and people skills and become a better manager with our unique Personal Success Programme (PSP).

Get a job you like – or become grit in the machine

5th March 2007

I have heard some people say it’s not important to enjoy your work – as work is merely a means to an end – the salary; but this view fails to recognise a number of negative consequences on people and the business.

Over many years of running personal development programmes for people in business we have noticed some common traits among people who dislike their job, but stick at it regardless. A person who dislikes their job is highly likely to:

Focus their attention inward and develop negative internal dialogue.
Avoid communicating with others, only communicating where it is unavoidable.
Increasingly see problems instead of challenges.
Do not seek opportunities for themselves, or the business.
Become increasingly insular in their work style.
Become distracted easily due to a lack of positive focus.
Habitually think negatively about their tasks and rarely think of how they can make improvements.
Put blame and problems on other people and processes, not themselves.
Get highly stressed which can lead to physical illness.
Frequently take time off sick due to stress-related illness.
React to change and difference with pessimism.

When you look at companies who pay attention to job satisfaction and make sure that people are suited to the jobs they do, you tend to find high levels of productivity, growth and creativity. Check any list of top companies to work for and you will see that long-term success tends to correlate with high levels of job satisfaction.

The only people who like pessimists are other pessimists. If the people in your company who are responsible for recruitment and selection do not understand the importance of job satisfaction you can end up with teams of pessimists whose main motivation at work is to avoid as much contact with others, and/or as much responsibility as possible.

Responsibility and authority are best given to people who have a positive outlook for the business, and will be pro-actively looking for ways to make improvements. These are the people who are most likely to be communicating frequently with others and not tied up with their own personal issues.

When your work seems to be a constant struggle; when people don’t take notice of you; when stress and tiredness hit you late-afternoon; when you get overlooked for promotion – all these signs point to a lack of job satisfaction. It’s probably time to look around for something more fulfilling to do.

When you enjoy your job you are much more likely to be able to focus and concentrate; to communicate and cooperate with other people; to still have energy at the end of the day; to be noticed and put forward for other jobs or promotion.

At Quadrant 1 International we believe job satisfaction is a core foundation for running a successful business, which can be thought of as a machine. People who dislike their work are like grit in the machine, grinding the cogs and slowing it down, whilst those who thrive on what they do are oiling it and making it run smoothly.

David Molden

I don't do small talk!

12th March 2007

We often hear people say ‘I don’t do small talk!’ The implication is either -

I am far too busy or important to get involved in passing the time of day with colleagues and friends or ...
Actually I am petrified of you and I don’t know how to talk to you so I’ll just keep myself busy instead

When I hear this comment on our programmes I encourage delegates to reframe their thinking - Its not small talk its BIG talk! Under-estimating the value of BIG talk can seriously damage your career. What if during a seemingly innocent chat with someone you:

Found a common interest which could stand you in good stead when you next need support for a project
Picked up a recommendation of someone who could help you with your current challenge
Highlighted an opportunity to help someone – a credit in the favours bank – you never know when you might need it
Agreed an opportunity for a brainstorm
Managed to lighten the load for someone else by listening to their perceived problem
Heard about a success in another part of the organisation which you could act upon in some way
Discovered something the competition are doing

Why do you think people join clubs, have business lunches, organise entertainment for colleagues, attend networking meetings, join forums on the internet – its all in the interest of information exchange.

When we ask people about their reluctance to engage in conversation the underlying causes are manifold. They include:

I don’t have anything to say
Low self esteem
I might appear nosey
I might be seen to be time-wasting
Its only important to discuss work
It might waste my time
I find some people intimidating
They are not going to be interested in me/my issues
I find it difficult to say what I really think/feel
Its easier to send an e-mail
What if I say the wrong thing?

So as you go through all this internal dialogue, most of which incidentally is a series of misconceptions (imagine that! you’ve been fooling yourself all this time), you are inadvertently communicating something to people around you. For example they may be picking up that you are unapproachable, disinterested, remote, aloof, awkward, difficult or superior - and I’m sure this was never your intention. The more you opt out of BIG talk the more people will perceive you in a negative way and the more alienated you will become from the people around you. So what can you do about it?

BIG Talk is easy
The secret is in identifying a person’s focus of interest and then building rapport by pacing and leading. There are only 5 things on which people focus and they give away their preference so easily –

Location
People
Things
Information
Activities

Location
These people are very aware of their environment. They will want to work in pleasant surroundings, their offices and homes will be nicely decorated and the view from the window will be important. If such things are out of their control they will go to great lengths to make sure the space they do have control over is pleasantly organised. Their holidays will be more about where they go than what they are going to do when they get there. To communicate with these people the opening gambit will be focused on the environment, eg:

You’ve got a great view from here
Is that a photo of Mount Everest?
I hear you were in Cumbria last week did you get a chance to take in the scenery?

People
These people will tell you all about their friends, family and team and are likely to surround themselves with photos of their dear ones. They ask you about your family and expect you to do the same, eg:

How’s Mary (partner)
Have the kids settled in at the new school?
How is Jo coping with his new role?

Things
These people are interested in your new car, mobile phone, motorbike, computer, TV, fridge, dining suite, clothes and so on and so on. They are likely to greet you with something like:

Wow I see you have upgraded your ......
Have you seen one of these? (producing latest gadget from pocket)
Love the outfit

Information
These people are into books, reports, statistics, data, documentaries – they fill their heads with all kinds of information and appear to be in a perpetual pursuit of more. Their opening gambit is likely to be:

Did you see the documentary on …. the other night?
What do you think of the report on the ........?
In his book (title) A J Smith says (quote)

Activities
These people like to be doing things. Their conversation will be around what you or they have been doing recently, eg:

How’s the golf/squash/yoga/tai chi going?
What do you think we should do about ….?
I notice you took an active role in getting that …… completed recently

Having established a person’s preference, building rapport and conducting small talk is easy. Simply match it and join in for as long as it takes to lead the conversation in a direction of your choice. People will not only see you are interested in them but will unconsciously think of you as an interesting/approachable/friendly/trustworthy person. Have some fun trying it out and notice what an impact such a small change can make on your environment and relationships.

BIG talk is powerful!

Pat Hutchinson

People behave as the culture dictates

22 March 2007

When working in teams people develop habitual reactions to the way others behave towards them. The culmination of these actions/reactions creates the culture. Leaders in organisations are role models for behaviour, so if a team is behaving in a way that is limiting their potential to succeed, you have to look at the leader's behaviour. For example if you want an open innovative, idea sharing culture then leaders need to behave accordingly. Here are some insights into results which can be expected from the behaviour of leaders.

The Impact of a leader's behaviour
If an employee lives with fear, he learns to avoid taking risks.	If an employee lives with appreciation, she learns to make an extra effort.
If an employee lives with deceit, she learns to stretch the truth.	If an employee lives with leadership, he learns how to take initiative.
If an employee lives with small expectations, he learns to have limited scope.	If an employee lives with openness, she learns how to be honest.
If an employee lives with a heavy hand, she learns how to beat the system.	If an employee lives with experimentation, he learns how to be innovative.
If an employee lives with ridicule, he learns to keep his ideas to himself.	If an employee lives with clear values, she learns how to set priorities.
If an employee lives with formality, she learns to be a bureaucrat.	If an employee lives with customer respect, he learns how to deliver outstanding service.
If an employee lives with mistrust, he learns to be suspicious.	If an employee lives with encouragement, she learns to be confident.
If an employee lives with hostility, she learns to fight.	If an employee lives with positive visions, he learns how to perform miracles.
If an employee lives with indifference, he learns not to care.	If an employee lives with challenge, she learns how to master change.

NLP offers many techniques to assist you in becoming an effective leader. For more information read ‘Managing with the Power of NLP’ by David Molden, and remember NLP is an experiential subject – putting it into practice is key.

You can become a Certified Business NLP Practitioner by attending one of our programmes (2 * 4-days), or you can learn NLP and other techniques by attending the Personal Success Programme (3 days plus 2 days).

Either of these programmes will give you techniques to realise your full potential within business.

Pat Hutchinson/David Molden